


Sam Winchester plays fair and also answers the couples test he made Dean do (though he totally didn't have to because he won that bet fair and square)

by Canon_Is_Relative



Series: The College AU [8]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Epistolary, Fluff and Crack, M/M, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 05:25:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3798400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Canon_Is_Relative/pseuds/Canon_Is_Relative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam sees <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3679668">Dean's answers to the relationship quiz</a>, and decides to respond.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sam Winchester plays fair and also answers the couples test he made Dean do (though he totally didn't have to because he won that bet fair and square)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [stardust_made](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_made/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dean Winchester Does a Couples Test](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3679668) by [stardust_made](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardust_made/pseuds/stardust_made). 



**50 relationship questions to create better love**

**Sit down with your partner on a lazy Sunday afternoon, ask each other these questions and have an open mind. To make it easier for your partner so they don’t assume any of these are trick questions, you answer first so they know your views too.**

**Don’t let any questions annoy you and don’t ever clam up or go on the defensive. Remember, the answers to these questions should be truthful and help both of you understand each other better.**

**And by the time you’re done with the questions, you’d know more about each other and would also understand each other’s approach to life too.**

Dean,

Wow. Man, I thought I was going to have to ride your ass for a week to get you to do this. And not in the fun way. See that, you’re rubbing off on me. God, okay, I’m going to stop talking. Anyway, even though I totally won fair and square (and maybe next time you’ll LISTEN TO ME when I say mixing prank wars and sex is so _not_ a good idea), I feel kind of bad leaving this one-sided. I mean, the test guys (who, I agree, are pretty freaking dumb) said we were both supposed to answer. So, here goes.

 

[Read: [How to be a happy couple that’s envied by all other couples](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/how-to-be-a-happy-couple) ]

_Yeah no, I still prefer other couples didn’t know we were a couple, thanks!_

_Wait, do I have to comment on those too? I’m gonna, just in case you said I didn’t play fair and made me do another one._

  
  
Yeah, me too, actually. Well, people we know, anyway. I kind of like it when we’re working a job and we don’t always have to run the brothers or agents game. Remember in Portland? It was so much easier to get the dirt on that haunting when we were just being ourselves. I guess sometimes I wish it could be like that with people we know, it’d be nice not to worry about who sees what. Or like the other day when Dan was trying to set you up with his cousin and I couldn’t say anything about it, that pissed me off and yeah, I overreacted later and I’m sorry. But anyway, I know, too many angles. I know we’ve been over this a hundred times. Oh, and I don’t think you’re supposed to comment on the links. They’re pretty bad, aren’t they.

I’m going to answer the rest of these now, I’ll try to stick to answering the actual questions and not replying to what you said. Here goes.

 

**#1 What is the ideal number of calls a couple should exchange in a day?**

I prefer to text. Where have I heard that before? 

 

**#2 Would you compromise your happiness for the success of the relationship?**

This is a stupid question, are they asking if you’d just resign yourself to being miserable just so you’re not alone? No way. If something is making one of us unhappy, we work it out. How can you have a successful relationship if someone’s unhappy? 

 

**#3 What’s your idea of a romantic vacation?**

That cabin in the woods with the hot tub was the best. And that time you drove us back to that town with the historic library so I could keep going with my research, even though the case was over, just because I wanted to? You’re awesome, Dean. 

 

**#4 What’s the single most important thing for a relationship to be successful?**

Honesty. And trust. Loyalty. And a sturdy bed.  

 

**#5 What would you define as cheating?**

_Avoiding answering this question because the word cheating has more than one meaning? See what I did there?_

Yeah, I see what you did there, genius, you’re so clever. 

I’d say, doing something you know would hurt the other person. Knowing they don’t want you to do something and doing it anyway. 

 

**#6 If I cheated on you, would you ever forgive me?**

Read: [Forgiving cheating and the game egos play](http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-affairs/affairs-in-a-marriage) ]

These links are unbearably asinine.  

Lucky for me, you wouldn’t, so I don’t even have to think about crap like this.

 

**#7 Would you ever say sorry to me even if it’s not your fault?**

I think I have, a few times, when you’re doing that thing you do where you try to carry the weight of the world by yourself and won’t let me help. But I think they’re asking if I’d apologize to you if you’d done something wrong, like just to keep the peace? I’m sorry Dean, you know me, I kind of like to argue with you. 

 

**#8 Are you friends with any of your exes?**

_Wouldn’t exactly call it friends…does helping her out with a possessed murderous truck count?_

[Read: [Does your boyfriend speak to his ex all the time?](http://www.lovepanky.com/women/dating-men-tips-for-women/does-your-boyfriend-speak-to-his-ex) ]

_This just proves what morons think up these tests. Like, do they think everyone’s life is like some freaking Hallmark Christmas movie? How about some people’s exes are dead, douchebags! That too real for you to consider before you put in questions that bring back bad memories? Nice going!_

Before you haul off and kick some test writer in the balls, can I just say, Cassie was way out of your league, man, how that ever happened is beyond me.

But seriously, I’m okay. Thanks.  

 

**#9 How should finances be planned between a couple?**

They should start out with this one question: Is a magic fingers bed for the guest room a good investment? The one who answers “no” should make all the decisions after that. 

 

**#10 Do you think celebrating Valentine’s Day is corny?**

I don’t know, would you call your brother handing you an actual human heart in the middle of a morgue “corny”? 

 

**#11 What was your first impression about me?**

Your hair was warm from the sun and you let me play with it, your hands on my feet and my hands on your head. It's my first memory of you, an unshakeable sense of safety and belonging and the top of your head as you were tying my shoes.

It’s the main reason I’m glad I’m taller that you, I get to see it all the time. 

 

**#12 Can you avoid flirting if someone attractive flirts with you when I’m not around?**

I kind of feel like the questions on this test were designed to stir up trouble. 

But anyway, you know me. Not exactly the flirting type. 

 

**#13 Do you think romantic gifts have to be memorable or do they have to be useful?**

Useful is nice. Like that time you bought me a house, that was cool. 

 

**#14 How would you want to spend a special day with each other?**

Alive and together is good enough for me.

 

**#15 What is the most special memory of us that you hold?**

This is so corny, but honestly? Our first kiss. I hadn’t realized until that moment just how much I wanted you. If it had been easy, or gone as smooth as I thought it would, I don’t think I would appreciate what we have now as much as I do. I knew I loved you, I’d known for awhile, but when you chased me down and when you kissed me, that’s when I fell in love with you. 

 

**#16 If I told you to jump off a tall cliff and tell you that you’ll land safely because there’s a net you can’t see yet, would you blindly trust me and jump?**

I'd argue with you for form's sake, but if it came down to it and you looked me in the eyes and told me that, then yes, I would.

 

**#17 Do you have to know all of my friends?**

_Dude, I actually wish I could unknow some of them, like that guy in New York with the blue eyes and the smile and the stupid three piece suits and those funny hats, who the hell is that good-looking?!! I’m telling you he was a siren! And his bald nerdy friend and the FBI agent, I don’t care how much you all liked talking conspiracy theories, they were weird, dude! Yeah, an FBI agent and a convicted conman are besties! Baldy thought my car was wired by some secret society that had something to do with Kennedy’s murder, do I need to go on?! Thank fuck we only stayed there for a few months._

_Oh and don’t get me started on that buckets of crazy in London! I like John though, John’s good._

 

Oh, so you're saying Neal's better looking than me? I knew you were protesting too much. Sorry to tell you, then, I'm pretty sure he's taken. I don't think "besties" is quite adequate to describe them.

John is good people. One of the best. I'm glad you like him.

But while we're on the subject of our crazy friends, I'm still not sure how I feel about that dude, the guy with hair longer than mine who supposedly beats people up for a living and also sings country? I don't want to know how you and Jo know him, or why he thought your name was Jen. That was just weird, dude. And his friend, the computer hacker? I know he's a nice guy and everything, but something about him seriously unnerved me. I'm glad we only worked the one job with them.

 

**#18 Do you think past relationship secrets should always be kept hidden?**

I don’t even know what this means. What is a “past relationship secret,” like “Oops I forgot to tell you I have a love child? I got herpes from my last girlfriend?” 

Before you get paranoid: neither of those things is true.

 

**#19 Do you think confessions make a relationship stronger?**

I think that owning up to the things you’ve done that you’re not proud of is a good thing. If that’s what they mean by “confessions,” then yes.

  
[Read: [Should you really ever confess to cheating?](http://www.lovepanky.com/flirting-flings/naughty-affairs/should-you-confess-to-cheating-on-your-partner) ]

How about you just don’t cheat? 

 

**#20 Is it fine for a partner to use the toilet with the door open?**

I never would have pegged you for being a prude. It’s adorable.

 

**#21 After a break up, would you ask for your gifts back/would you give back all the gifts?**

Lucky for us, you can’t break up with family.

You can have the house, I’m keeping the dog.

Ugh, none of that was funny even a little. Sorry.

 

**#22 Which love song best describes our relationship?**

“Thank You.” 

 

**#23 Describe your perfect man/woman that you would like to date.**

Tall, but not taller than me. Freckles are a must. Green eyes, spiky hair, great body. Drives a classic car. Willing to embrace alternative lifestyles. Would sell his soul for me. That about covers it.

 

**#24 In a relationship, what would make you feel happier, sharing or sacrificing?**

Sharing.

[Read: [What is unconditional love really?](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/romantic-love/what-is-unconditional-love) ]

I already know all about that, thanks. See, I’ve got this brother.. . 

 

**#25 Would you lie to make me happy and where would you draw the line?**

No, because you’d inevitably find out, and knowing that I’d lied would make you more unhappy than anything else.  

 

**#26 What are some annoying habits of other couples that irritate you the most?**

Taking for granted being heterosexual and unrelated. 

 

**#27 Who would you prefer as a partner, a good looking person or an extremely clever person?**

_Lucky for me, I got both in one package. Take that, stupid test!_

What he said. 

 

**#28 How do you vent out your frustrations in a relationship?**

Whine and bitch. Or so I’ve been told.

  
[Read: [The right way to fight fair in a relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/how-to-fight-fair-in-a-relationship) ]

_There’s a wrong way to fight fair in a relationship? Dude, this is an hour of my life I’m never getting back, you owe me big!_

I’m not sorry, your answers are awesome. Case in point: 

 

**#29 When was the last time I came in your dreams?**

_I’m always making you come in my dreams, Sammy, you look damn hot too. You can slap in that smirking smiley right here._

 There’s no way I can possibly top that.

So I guess I’ll just top you. Tonight?

 

**#30 If we went to a store to buy a couch and both of us liked different couches, would you still go with my pick?**

You’re the hedon, so I’d probably let you pick.

 

**#31 Is sex about constantly pushing the boundaries or playing by the rules?**

Whose “rules,” what a stupid question. 

  
[Read: [Top 50 kinky ideas for a sexy relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/passion-pill/50-kinky-ideas-for-a-sexy-relationship) ]

Oh, god, I clicked that link, I wish I hadn’t. These people must lead really sad lives. 

 

**#32 How often would you want to go out on a date with me in a month?**

_I live with you, dumbass._

_Oh wait, is this like I’m a selfish asshole who takes you for granted? Don’t do that, Sam, just say what you want and you got it, don’t make me figure stuff out, ok?_

Okay, then, since you asked: maybe like twice a week? Once on the weekend when we can really do whatever we want, and once during the week so we make time after work to just be together and relax. Doesn’t even have to be anything special, but sometimes it seems like we get so busy, it’s like we forget to do stuff besides get through the day and fall into bed. But once in awhile I like doing the special stuff, too. I like it when we go somewhere a little farther away and can actually have, like, a real date. You’re going to laugh at me, but you asked. Every couple months I’d like to take you someplace special. A game or a concert or a fancy steak restaurant, somewhere I can kiss you when I want to and you can look at me as long as you want without freaking out someone will see us. This stuff is important to me, Dean. I want to get better at making it happen.

 

**#33 What is your biggest sexual turn off?**

_No dogs in the room while we’re doing it._

Mine? You freaking out that the dog can see us/hear us/is in a completely separate room judging us for what we’re doing. She’s a dog, dude. She could care less. 

 

**#34 What do you find sexiest about a person of the opposite sex?**

It’s been so long since I thought about it, I couldn’t even say. 

 

**#35 What’s your wildest sexual fantasy that you’d want to try with me?**

I’ll try anything with you, Dean. You want something, just ask for it.

  
[Read: [Top sexual fantasies for men](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/fantasy/sexual-fantasies-for-men) and [top sexual fantasies for women](http://www.lovepanky.com/sensual-tease/fantasy/fantasies-for-women-top-ten-female-fantasies) ]

What did I just say? Sad, boring, unimaginative lives.

 

**#36 Would you feel insecure if I spent a lot of time at work?**

Not anymore. 

 

**#37 How many sexual partners have you had in the past?**

Five. 

 

**#38 If you were convinced that I was making a bad decision, what would you do about it?**

Hope that you’d trust me enough by now to listen to me, and explain my point of view. 

If you didn’t agree with me, break out the puppy dog eyes. 

If that failed (and that’s a big freaking “if”), I’d probably just start stripping until you forgot what stupid thing you were about to do.  

 

**#39 Do you like babies/how many kids would you like to have someday?**

Pass.

 

**#40 When was the last time you disliked me?**

I’m not going to say because you’d just say I was being vindictive bringing it up again. But I promise you, I’m over it.  

 

**#41 If someone attractive exchanges glances with you at work, would you tell me about it?**

Dude, I’m the hot bartender. I have to put up with people making eyes at me all day, you think I want to come home and list them off for you? We’ve got better things to do with our time. 

 

**#42 What’s the craziest thing you’d be willing to do for me?**

I don’t want to think about it.  

 

**#43 What kind of a parent do you think you’d be?**

Me? Lousy. You? Awesome.

 

**#44 When do you think a person is ready for marriage?**

When they’re sick of being not-married anymore? I don’t know.

Kind of funny how, like, none of these actually pertain to us, huh? Which is fine by me. I’ve got you, we’ve got our life and our house and our dog, and it’s all for keeps. Sometimes I think about what life must be like for other people, and it makes me kind of sad. I don’t know how we got so lucky, but I’m glad we did.

  
[Read: [How to know if he’s ready for marriage](http://www.lovepanky.com/women/how-to-tips-and-guide-for-women/how-to-get-him-to-propose) ]

Oh, for the love of god.

 

**#45 What’s the one thing about me you’d like to change?**

There’s this thing you do on mornings when I have to be out of the house early. It always makes me late. You could cut that out.

Seriously, though? Nothing. I’m kind of attached to you the way you are. 

 

**#46 In an argument, whose side would you take, me or your mother?**

_Awkward…_

Wow, yeah, you said it. 

 

**#47 Would you relocate for love?**

Sure.

  
[Read: [25 relationship rules for successful love](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/sweet-love/relationship-rules-for-successful-love) ]

_I’m not even clicking that, I’m going text that weirdo in London and tell him I now know what boredom really feels like._

You do that. I’ll be over here commiserating with John about living with a dude with no sense of reality and bad taste in music. 

 

**#48 Would you be open to disclosing all your health issues to me all the time?**

_No, are you nuts? What’s the point in freaking you out? And what am I, a Barbie doll?_

Okay, and this is supposed to NOT freak me out? What aren’t you telling me, Dean? Don’t tell me you have demon blood, too.

 

**#49 If you’re having a bad day, would you want me to leave you alone or spend time with you and cheer you up?**

Depends on the day. I’ll always let you know.  

 

**#50 What’s more important, sexual chemistry or spending time together?**

Spending time together. We’re crazy lucky that we spend all our time together and have chemistry that’s like off the charts, but if I had to chose, it’d be that. 

Guess it’s a good thing we are who we are, because on paper I’m pretty sure we look like polar opposites, Dean. Goes to show you what these testing morons know.

Love you.

  
[Read: [Perfect things to talk about in a truly perfect relationship](http://www.lovepanky.com/love-couch/better-love/things-to-talk-about-in-a-relationship) ]

Dean, they’ve tapped our house.


End file.
